A dear spirit brother, Maya enthusiast, and past pilgrimage group member, Ryan Parks, accidentally overdosed and is now way beyond returning to this world. It has been hard for all of us that know his gentle sensitive spirit, and it is such a loss for this world. Ryan is a rare one. The way he sees the world is so rarified that we can hardly relate to it. It is like he sees the world as God does . . . pure and perfect. Ryan was very much like the actor in the movie "American Beauty" that could see the beauty in a piece of trash floating in the air. It was a joy to watch him.

It is so hard for sensitive ones to tolerate this world. Sometimes they can fade away without anyone noticing their beauty and expression of God's light. They can become drunks, drug addicts and crazy without our support. One day I saw God in the blue eyes of a begging addict on a street as I handed him a five dollar bill. I will never forget it. It changed my life. Yet even with Ryan's mother's courageous support, he still found this world too hard to bear. He could not find home. He looked for escape.

Ryan's heart song tells us that WE NEED TO SUPPORT EACH OTHER! These are intense times. PLEASE do not be embarrassed to let others know that you are hanging on by a thread. Don't be shy about asking for help from a friend. This is what Spiritual Community should be best at, and yet I find it not filling this role. In fact, I find many spiritual communities are becoming a place where there is ego based competition with spiritual levels. How righteous we are in our spiritual path, etc…. We feel we cannot show our weakness because we will be judged, criticized or condemned. We loose our right to be real. For those who have their feet only lightly touching this earth, this is an unbearable environment, and they feel abandoned by the lack of support. Because we do not understand them, we judge them. This saddens me because I feel that we are loosing so many of our best and brightest. When Jesus said "DO NOT JUDGE", this was not said lightly. Judging kills! Judging is a form of negative projection and is a form of black magic.

Please . . . everyone hear me . . . In these very intense times, IT IS IMPERATIVE that WE SUPPORT EACH OTHER . . . HOLD EACH OTHER . . . and NOT JUDGE EACH OTHER. Being a sensitive myself, I know how hard it is to stay here day in and day out. So do not judge those around you who do not seem to be able to cope or can't seem to get their act together. They are our barometers for this world. They are the canaries the miners take down into the mines to test the environment. And speaking about the environment . . ., from where I stand, it looks like we are hitting a very deep and critical period. We cannot do this alone anymore. The environment and evolution of this Earth, is pushing us to reconnect with each other or else!

Ryan reminds me that we are so close to shifting into the new world. The closer we get to that door, the more intense it will get. ANYTHING that is not GOD'S PERFECTION and DIVINE PLAN will rise up to be cleared. Sensitive ones are feeling this. Sensitive ones will be our alarm clocks so that we will know when the time is near. So we must honor and support them. These are amazing times, but they are not easy. I know the only way through this time is to hold hands together and walk these last few steps on equal footing . . . no one lesser or greater than the other. Just God's children walking hand in hand through the gates into the new world. I think Ryan would not have it any other way.

And back to Ryan who inspired this insight . . .
and an urgent plea from me and Ryan's mother Kim.
PLEASE PRAY THAT RYAN IS RELEASED from his body and in the company of a LEGION OF RAINBOW ANGELS!

I was at a local pizza house because a good friend of mine was performing. We requested that he sing the song "Blackbird", by the Beatles, not knowing why. When our friend played it, I realized that it was for Ryan. I realized, as we sat there singing, that I was singing it for Ryan. I know music was Ryan's saving grace and escape in this world. So what better way than a song to send him along in his journey? We sat there with tears in our eyes . . . sending him this song with our hearts. So, I ask all of you healers out there, please take a moment to help Ryan "Take HIS broken wings and learn to FLY". We know he does not want to be where he is. It is time for Ryan to make the journey home. He has been waiting for this moment to be free. I know he will be waiting for us, with a joyful heart, on the other side.

Thank you all for reading this... enduring my emotional and somber message. But it seems to be the message of the day. I hope you take it in, and then look around you to see if someone near you needs a hug, some support and love. And if you are the one in need, PLEASE ask for help before you do something that could cause us to loose you! Please! We all need each other. We are all God's Children.

I feel like I'm trapped, a feeling I can't erase
Trapped in this time, trapped in this space
wanting to soar above it all
To touch the sky, and not to fall
Into this earth and its lofty cares
I want to flee and escape its snares

To run from concrete cities that prey on the earth
And the industrialization that has given birth
To white collar slaves who toil in splendor
Who use knowledge as power, killing its wonder

In this oceans blue, the sky so vast
I'm just a speck, a glimmer who won't last
Who yearns to be heard, to share my light
To do my purpose, to have my flame burn bright

And yet they snuff me, I'm too free and wild
To break society's rules, one must be a child
To shine my light is somewhat a crime
In a world where being yourself a climb

So this is my paradox, this is my plight
Wanting to share but wanting to take flight
I ask the sky, the moon, the trees
If it is possible that my soul will be appeased
If I could stay and have in this life
My earthly yearnings and be free from strife

In my heart I know my spirit will always fly
As long as my soul continues to ask why
In my body, I know I'm here to learn how
To fulfill my dreams yet live in the now.
Quynh Nguyen 1993

Caution when reading this page. These are raw and un-censured messages from Ryans family and close friends. If you are empathic you might consider not reading this.

Kahlil Gibran On Death

Then Almitra spoke, saying, "We would ask now of Death."
And he said:
You would know the secret of death.
But how shall you find it unless you seek it in the heart of life?
The owl whose night-bound eyes are blind unto the day cannot unveil the mystery of light.
If you would indeed behold the spirit of death, open your heart wide unto the body of life.
For life and death are one, even as the river and the sea are one.
In the depth of your hopes and desires lies your silent knowledge of the beyond;
And like seeds dreaming beneath the snow your heart dreams of spring.
Trust the dreams, for in them is hidden the gate to eternity.
Your fear of death is but the trembling of the shepherd when he stands before the king whose hand is to be laid upon him in honour.
Is the shepherd not joyful beneath his trembling, that he shall wear the mark of the king?
Yet is he not more mindful of his trembling?
For what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun?
And what is to cease breathing, but to free the breath from its restless tides, that it may rise and expand and seek God unencumbered?
Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing.
And when you have reached the mountain top, then you shall begin to climb.
And when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance.